Visitors since October 03/99
Page last updated April 19, 2001
The Ha Ha Page 6
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~ Read the Instructions ~
~ On Sears hairdryer ~
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, but that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
~ On a bag of Fritos ~
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
~ On a bar of Dial soap ~
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
~ On some Swann frozen dinners ~
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
~ On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box ~
Fits one head.
(Excuse me? Do most of your guests have 2 heads?)
~ On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) ~
Do not turn upside down.
(*ploop* Too late! You lose!)
~ On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding ~
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
~ On packaging for a Rowenta iron ~
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
~ On Boot's Children's cough medicine ~
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds off those fork lifts.)
~ On Nytol sleep aid ~
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One could only hope!)
~ On a Korean kitchen knife ~
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
~ On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights ~
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use where? Outer space?)
~ On a Japanese food processor ~
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now this one has me curious!)
~ On Sainsbury's peanuts ~
Warning: Contains nuts.
(Now how on earth did they figure THAT one out?)
~ On an American Airlines packet of nuts ~
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Thanks, cuz I was thinking it was my complimentary pillow.)
~ On a Swedish chainsaw ~
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)
~ On a child's superman costume ~
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
~ thanks BlueEyes ~
Remember: when someone annoys you
It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown
It only takes 4 muscles to extend your
arm and SMACK the a$$hole upside the head!
~ thanks BabyBlues ~
20 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS:
~ thanks Jason ~
Oh Holy Night
You do know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don't you?
They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole & given practical gifts!
~ thanks Bethe ~
~ thanks Dana ~
~ Giving Him the Finger ~
~ thanks Smurk ~
Wanna spread some Sunshine ?
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