Bumper Stickers
Bumper Stickers

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Visitors since September 03/99

Page last updated April 19, 2001


Jesus loves you ... But I think you're an a$$hole.


Zero to dick in 60 seconds!


Very funny Scotty ... Now beam up my clothes.


Madness takes its toll ... Please have exact change ready.


Don't honk ... I'm pedaling as fast as I can.


If you can read this bumper sticker ... You're in range.


This vehicle swerves and hits pedestrians at random!


Change is inevitable ... Except from a vending machine.


I have PMS and a handgun ... Any questions?


Out of my mind ... Back in five minutes.


Cover me ... I'm changing lanes.


Sometimes I wake up grumpy ... Other times I let him sleep.


The gene pool could use a little chlorine!


Your kid may be an honor student ... But you're still an idiot.


SMILE:  It's the second best thing you can do with your lips!


I took an IQ test and the results were negative!


When there's a will ... I want to be in it.


Tastes like chicken keep on licking ... Tastes like trout get the hell out.


It's lonely at the top ... But you eat better.


Think about World Peace ... Start using your turn signal.


LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math!


CONSCIOUSNESS: That annoying time between naps!


We are Microsoft ... Resistance is futile ... You will be assimilated.


Be nice to your kids ... They'll be choosing your nursing home some day.


Ever stop to think ... And forget to start again?


Born free ... Taxed to death.


Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them!


If you smoke after sex ... You're doing it way too fast.


A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory!


WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship!


BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore!


Horn does not work ... Watch for finger.


Don't blame me ... I didn't vote.


If you can read this ... Your parents will be home in two minutes.


Don't drink and drive ... You might hit a bump and spill your drink.


My kid beat up your honor student!


Nice People Swallow!


Honk if you have had sex with Clinton!


Hang up and drive!


If you're not angry ... You're not paying attention.


This car is not abandoned!


I stop for no apparent reason!


Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-UP-YOURS


Keep honking ... I'm reloading.


Enjoy life ... Eat out more often.


If you're cute, single and rich, HONK!


Don't laugh ... Your daughter could be in here.


WARNING: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.


Sex is like air ... It's only bad when you're not getting any.


My wife's other car is a broom!


If you can't dazzle them with brilliance ... Baffle them with bull$hit!


Constipated people don't give a $hit!


Practice safe sex ... Go screw yourself.


If you drink don't park ... Accidents cause people.


Who lit the fuse on your tampon?


If you don't believe in oral sex ... Keep your mouth shut.


Please tell your pants its not polite to point!


If that phone was up your a$$ ... Maybe you could drive a little better.


My kid got your honor roll student pregnant!


Thank you for pot smoking!


To all you virgins ... Thanks for nothing.


If at first you don't succeed ... blame someone else and seek counseling.


IMPOTENCE: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"!


If you can read this ... I've lost my trailer.


It's not how you pick your nose ... But where you put the booger.


If your not a hemorrhoid ... Get off my a$$.


I'm out of bed and dressed ... What more do you want?


I don't have an attitude problem ... You have a perception problem.


Wear clean undies ... You might be bumping into me.


One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day!


Failure is not an option ... It comes bundled with the software.


I want to die while asleep just like my Grandfather ... Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.


KENTUCKY: Five Million People ... Fifteen Last Names!


What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere!


If ignorance is bliss ... Why aren't more people happy?


Hard work pays off later ... Laziness pays off now.


I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!


I still miss my ex ...  But my aim is getting better!


A closed mouth gathers no foot!


The trouble with life is there's no background music!


If men can have ESPN ... Then women can have PMS.


When blondes have more fun do they know it?


What happens if you get scared half to death twice?


Losing a husband can be hard ... In my case it was almost impossible.


Zero to bitch in 10 seconds!


Wine me ... Dine me ... 69 me!


WARNING: Student Driver ... Get the hell out of my way!


Life is too short ... Don't be a dick.


Work Harder ... People on Welfare depend on you.


Happiness is lipstick on my dipstick!


A hard on doesn't count as personal growth!


I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the bad one!


I just want revenge ... Is that so bad?


I'm smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!


~ Thanks Jason for sending this to me! *hugs* ~


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