The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:

"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:

"If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it."

Sign at airline ticket office in Copenhagen:

"We take your bags and send them in all directions."

In a certain African hotel you may choose between:

"A room with a view on the sea or the backside of the country."

A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:

"Come inside and have a fit."

A hotel notice in Madrid informs:

"If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, please cry out for the chambermaid."

This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator:

"The lift is being fixed for the next days. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:

"If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up."

This sign was posted in a Scottish harbor:

"For sale boat single owner green in colour."

A sign at Budapest's zoo requests:

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food give it to the guard on duty."

A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:

"As for the trout served you at the hotel monopol, you will be singing its praise to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed."

A Seville tailor makes it clear how he will handle commissions:

"Order now your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

A dentist's doorway in Istanbul proclaims:

"American dentist, 2th floor. Teeth extracted by latest methodists."

The concierge in a Sorrento hotel lets guests know he's on the job:

"Contact the concierge immediately for informations. Please don't wait last minutes then it will be too late to arrange any inconveniences."

Some German hospitals now display the sign:

"No children allowed in the maternity wards."

The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athens hotel reads:

"If you consider our help impolite, you should see the manager."

A sign in a Kowloon hotel warns:

"Is forbidden to steal hotel towels. Please if you are not person to do such is please not to read notice."

Visitors in Czechoslovakia are invited by the tourist agency to:

"Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages."

A Rome laundry suggests:

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

A London eatery advertised for help this way:

"Wanted : man to wash dishes and two waitresses." {Geez, one would think they'd speak English in London! ... LOL}